This Is 40, Season 3: The Turning Point, Where I Learned to Break Beautifully

This is where things got real.

I took bigger risks. I stumbled upon the love of my life (hello, honey). And let me tell you something: every single day since has been a blessing. Fights and all. Tears and all. The messy, beautiful, real stuff of life.

We were destined to find each other. I believe that with my whole heart. You cannot fight destiny. And when it found me, I stopped running and started living.

I had another baby. Moved countries. Got married again. Tried my hand at business. Made big girl sacrifices that eventually paid off, but not without a few sleepless nights and a whole lot of tears.

This was the season I grew up. Not in a boring way. In a secure way.

I cultivated a real, honest relationship with God. I learned what boundaries looked like (scary at first, now my superpower). I practised mindfulness. I became intentional about who I let into my circle.

The family I needed

But here’s the thing I don’t say enough: I was gifted with the family I needed during this season. Not the family I thought I wanted. Not the picture-perfect version. The family that would hold me when I broke, call me out when I was wrong, and love me through it all.

My children. My husband. I cannot even begin to imagine my life without them. They are my anchors, my soft place to land, my reason to keep showing up better.

Breaking, and healing

But I also lost a lot. I was tested from every angle. I felt a deep sadness. I cried more than I ever had before. And for the first time in my life, I let my guard down. I allowed myself to be vulnerable. To feel. To break down.

My strength shouldn’t be a badge of honour if it means I never let anyone help me carry the weight.

That season humbled me. And then it healed me.

And here’s the most important part. In all that breaking and healing, I dug deep. Really deep. And I discovered my life’s purpose: what I was created to be. The reason for all of it, the pain, the wildness, the wandering, the finding my way back. It all clicked into place.

Season 3 didn’t just change me. It revealed me.

What I wish I could have told myself in my twenties

Growing up isn’t about building walls. It’s about letting the right people in. Breaking doesn’t mean you’re broken; it means you’re human. Even the girl who was scared of nothing needs a place to rest. And sometimes, when you finally stop running, you find exactly what you were running towards all along.

I walked out of Season 3 bruised, yes. But also whole. Clear. Held by a love I never thought I deserved. And ready for what came next.

About the author

Pat Ricia is a Zimbabwean writer and entrepreneur based in the UK, writing about faith, purpose, womanhood and intentional living. Read her story.